Irgendwer hat wohl neulich von mir übersetzte Untertitel aus dem Russischen auf YouTube freigeschaltet. Weil das M …

The top chemical 500

There are not only pure personal matters that appear as too informative on twitter but also sort of impersonal.

This comes up as magazines or organisations do think they have to appear on twitter. I do not know anyone who ever had a plausible theory on the topic that organisations have to go to twitter. But you do find magazines and organizations there.

One of them is the german „Friedrich-Schiller-Universität“ in Jena. Maybe it’s just a student having fun. Maybe it’s someone working for the university leadership. Maybe some geek. Who knows.

One of their tweets is this one:

In english: „The university of Jena“ is now within the top 500 list of the world’s most cited academics in chemistry. Great. Congratulations.

Well I doubt that in a way. Is there a list of acadamics in chemistry sorted by their university? That would surprize me. Maybe there’s one acadamic that got onto the top list of chemistrists. And what if you can get on such a list because of making a big mistake?

But how come someone thinks this is a useful information as a tweet. ‚Tweet‘ seen as something that’s basically meant for the moment. Something that is difficult to be clearly articulated. And that often doesn’t reach the ones it’s supposed to be for.

Who’s the recipient of this tweet in the eyes of ‚jenapolis‘? Academics of their own university? Of other universities? Students to come? I don’t think there exists anyone like that in twitter. I keep my mouth shut as the first twitter user admits he’s due to that kind of tweets interested in Jena by now. Or Chemistry. Or Top 500 lists.

So to me this tweet is very useless concerning information and addressing.


Bielefeld wird gerne als Inbegriff von Provinz verwendet. Selbst in Orten, die noch provinzieller daherkommen als Bielefeld. Das ist einerseits der Inhalt der Bielefeld-Verschwörung, der andere ist der Nerv-Faktor, den dieser ‚Witz‘ Bielefeldern bereitet, wenn darauf Anspielende meinen, sie erzählten einen guten, geradezu neuen Witz.
Bei der Luhmann-Preisverleihung an Dworkin durch Habermas verwendete der Oberbürgermeister Bielefelds in Anwesenheit dieser Personen der Zeitgeschichte eine geschlagene Viertelstunde auf den Nachweis, Bielefeld sei eben keine Provinz. Es gibt wohl keinen besseren Beweis dafür, dass Bielefeld Provinz ist, als dass man für die Ausbreitung der Gegenthese länger als eine Viertelstunde braucht.
Das Provinzielle wird aber kaum ein Bielefelder bestreiten. Dabei ist die Möglichkeit der Mobilität, denke ich, wesentlich bedeutsamer für die Darstellung des eigenen qualitativen Lebensstils als der momentane Aufenthaltsort.
Aber es gibt Kleinigkeiten, da spielt sich das Provinzielle eben aus. Jeder Bielefelder, zum Beispiel, kennt die „Begleitmusik“ der Stadtbahn. Steigt man an der Endhaltestelle aus, knarzt eine Frauenstimme beharrlich „Mobil sagt tschüss, bis zum nächsten Mal.“. Und ich glaube, genauso beharrlich, lässt sich der gemeine Stadtbahnfahrer nicht ernsthaft von einer Tonbandstimme grüßen.
Zum anderen wird an der Haltestelle „Hauptbahnhof“ eine Klingeltonversion Beethovens Für Elise zur Vertreibung der ortsansässigen Penner verwendet. Der Erfolg dieser Aktion ist, dass man die Penner sage und schreibe 5 Meter links und rechts in die Flucht geschlagen hat. Wenn überhaupt. Wäre ich Initiator ihrer, würde ich sagen, die Aktion ist suboptimal gelaufen, das Ziel eigentlich verfehlt. Müsste das der Verantwortliche nicht auch denken? Nur dann nicht, wenn es gar kein Ziel gegeben hat oder das Ziel oder die Aktion vergessen wurde. Sowas ist in der Provinz aber eben okay. Ein Aufmucken wird es da so wenig geben wie Danksagungen irgendwelcher Bürger: „Liebe Stadt Bielefeld, vielen Dank für diesen Beethoven-Klingelton, der die Penner nervt. Er nervt uns zwar noch mehr, da er uns das elendige Rumstehen an der düsteren Haltestelle frühzeitig ankündigt. Aber diese akustische Belästigung ist eigentlich nichts gegen die vormals visuelle.“
Anhand derartiger Aktionen manifestiert sich Provinzialität, gesehen als Rückständigkeit, wesentlich intensiver als an geographischer Lage.
Dass man die Straßen Bielefelds auch anders leergefegt bekommt, durfte little_james beim EM-Spiel Portugal gegen Deutschland feststellen:

The masturbation smiley

This week’s tweet is one you could have suspected as that kind of type this project would have started with. Talking about information that is just too much on twitter is mostly information about sexual habits.
This is one of them and one that is quite compromised:

The simplicity of the message turns out to rise a lot of questions:

Does Tony really do that what he claims to do or is he just kidding? Is that an information he really wants to share with others? What kind of profit would someone else have with this information? Is there no one within Tony’s world that feels uncomfortable with his?

Tony doesn’t seem to bother about those questions. He even seems to be a rather relaxing guy having the time to post a tweet while coming into action. But why is he adding a smiley to his post? Does he think: Well, you hadn’t expect I would really write this, he? Is he thinking adding a smiley makes an action cool? Is the same content better without a reference to smiling (besides on the avatar) ?

Well, think about that. Or rather don’t :).

The nothing

Ladies and Gents, this week’s tweet is THE tweet.

It’s the ultimate tweet.

It contains basics any twitter user uses. And it’s more. It’s art.
What kind of art it is, is what we need to find out.

So here’s what the tweet of the week is all about. Doomshammer says? Writes? Shows? This:

This is more than just a tweet. This is more than just playing a tiny technical game. This is a theoretical and practical expression of the nothing:

On the one hand you don’t find a single viewable sign to identify.
On the other hand and as a result of the former you don’t find any abstract information within this tweet apart from the author’s name, the software he uses, the star and the time the tweet was made. If you want to talk about this tweet you are urged to refer to nothingness.

It was Martin Heidegger claiming the nothing noths („Das Nichts nichtet.“). You can object against Heidegger that his hardly understandable usage of turning nouns into verbs is not a possible way to identify truth. But this objection could fail due to just revealing yourself as being pigheaded. The mistake of defining how to identify truth could lie in your own assumptions. But without trying to glorify Heidegger we have to state that Doomshammer shows there’s still something after the nothing has left.

Leave is defined by Heidegger with the following:

This is in english: „Leave is the absented arrival of the hiding of keeping the progress in the beginning.“ So Doomshammers‘ expression is both the absence of any tweet content and the beginning of any tweet.

So do not let Doomshammer fool you by linking to his own tweet as a tweet of emptiness:

You might still want to say, we’re missing the point. We’re over-interpreting the whole tweet. We don’t have any interesting TMIs left and are urged to lift this up to one. Doomshammer’s just a nerd having fun with his iPhone.

So if that would be right our text would be TMI. If not we would have proven the incredible kind of art of this tweet.

We actually think we can prove our thesis.

We can’t do this theoretically but within practise, within one of the artist’s tweet. Take a look at what Doomshammer threw like an unsatisfying painting into the trash bin just a second before revealing his masterpiece:

The clever doggie

If people on twitter don’t talk about themselves or their problems, they talk about news, tv, films, other people or animals. If they talk about animals, quite often they talk about their pets. And if they talk about pets then they talk about things they did wrong. You can hardly ever read a description of a really rightful done action of a pet. Or maybe that’s just my perception. It just seems not to be too interesting to talk about that.

If twitter users do not talk about their pets, but about animals, it’s about animals in their environment not belonging to them. Brittt is one of them. It does not slip her attention what and how animals act that are near to her. So she writes:

The first thing I thought is something, I suppose none of you thought. I thought: What a clever doggie. He comes into the room, recognizes that the window is open, jumps upon the windowsill and does his business outside for not soiling the room. Good boy!

Too sad a second later I thought that wasn’t Brittt’s story. She in a way wanted to tell that a dog was shitting outside her house and that she could watch him doing his business. And the open window seems to be a link to me that she even smelled that happening through her open window.

I don’t wanna care. I think my story is much more compelling.

The schemer

This week’s tweet is not much about fun. It’s in a way just a statement. IKEA paid a guy to stay in a room where he’s being filmed all day. This was posted in quiet a few blogs already. And as Nils now turns out to be one of the top german twitter users regarding counted followers we had a short look at him.

You know, in the old days action artists did something special. Sometimes that was disturbing. And that kind of disturbance was the essence of their art.
The art of this guy is just to sit and wait. But not in the Sidney Youngblood manner. He’s just waiting in a room for the new IKEA catalogue coming out in September and that’s all he does in August. And as the time runs out in August he tells us:

In the moment when he could really do something special, a thing he could have prepared himself for the last couple of weeks, he is not able to present it in a way that does not leave everyone bored behind: „I hope the postman brings the new IKEA catalouge. I’m really looking forward for trying out my new life.“

Boy, IKEA stuff is not for life. It’s for not spending much money. If that is a topper of your old life and the starting point of your new, we’ve really got no clue how simple you are.

If this project was just a little bit more intelligent maybe you could see some irony in it. For sure there are some guys in twitter, that sit before their computer the whole day. Seen that way this project could be a mirror to them. But how numb is it to say the solution to that problem was shopping?

This whole thing is an old idea with no new elements and it deals only with minimalism. A minimalism that is supposed to be special due to not fulfilling expectations. Dear IKEA and Nils: We had none. And that’s going to be the essential thing connected to you.

Der japanische Zettelknicker

Es gibt derzeit einen japanisch-amerikanischen Insider. Die Amerikaner verstehen nicht die Intention dieses kleinen, japanischen Videoclips, finden ihn aber lustig, was den ganzen Insider nun auch schon ausmacht. Hier mal das Original:

Was will uns dieser Japaner sagen? Ich würde ja eine neue Oscar-Kategorie vorschlagen. Der Oscar für die eindringlichste neue Körperhaltungsausdrucksgeste geht an…..

The mixer

This week we just can’t ignore the most discussed new german twitter user: It’s the Secretary-General of the german party SPD, Hubertus Heil. He used twitter during his visit in the United States, where he attended the Obama show in Denver. There are quite interesting negative and positive reactions to this new hobby of Mr. Heil. You can find these reactions in twitter and in an article of the german lifestyle magazine
Der Spiegel.

It’s a correct estimation to say that sometimes you’ll be criticized immediately if you do something for getting publicity. You can see the article in Der Spiegel quite easyily as that of kind of criticism. But not every criticism that comes up quickly is intrinsically wrong.

We don’t mind politicians doing things that normal citizens do as well. We do mind if they’re just pretending to do so. It’s one characteristic of the political strategy of Obama, Heil’s idol and reason to come to Denver, to make clear he’s not that kind of faker. Believe it or not. In America the media don’t believe that completely and therefor they’re talking about playing cards.

One thing that is crystal clear is that Heil’s showing up on twitter was planned as a part of his political actions. You can see that in one of the deleted tweets of his account:

Most irritating this plan did not result in presenting any own political idea. It also sounds like this whole action wasn’t his own idea. And though twitter is much about pretending and the idea that there is no nonconformity of tweets, because these belong to the subjective manner to describe reality, Heil is definitely a candidate for TMI to us.

This is so because Heil continuously mixes private, journalistic and politcal stuff in his tweets. It’s not clear if he wants to be on twitter as a private man, a politician or a journalist. Actually there are enough journalists and Heil’s private life does not attract many people.

In this week’s tweet this mixing is inherent:

Heil tells us that the members of the german Bundestag Rolf Mützenich and Niels Annen bought a skateboard and shoes during their visit and that they now can get back to work all together.

Is this a political information or a private one? We do think it deals with private matters of Mützenich and Annen. And for sure there will be journalists to see this in a political context. Anyhow, Heil does not make clear what relevance his tweets have and how they should be seen as.

Perhaps we should read Heil’s statements as the following tweet should be read, where he tells us how Obama should call his wife:

Bullshit. [1]

So finally it turns out that the twitter question to Mr. Heil has to be posed more exactly: „What the fuck are you doing?“


[1] following Harry Frankfurt On bullshit, Princeton University Press, 2005

You are not alone

This week’s tweet deals with the question: Who are you talking to?
Mr. bouvierm tells us:

Who is Sarah? Well, that’s easy. Sarah is obviously bouvierm’s actual girl-friend. That’s not that much of a surprise because Sarah is bouvierm’s only contact in twitter. We really hope this does not apply to his offline life. Take just a second with us to have a look into this boy’s little cosmos.

Sadly enough Sarah gives updates only to friends. Luckily enough you can read anything she writes in twitter search. Well, it seems to be a happy couple so we don’t want to rush into the their relationship too much.

It’s interesting enough that bouvierm tells twitter that there is going to happen a sexual thing between him and Sarah tonight. Why does he do that? It might be that he doesn’t know anyone can read his tweets and not only his only follower. Well, as you saw, even if you lock your updates they’re not really locked.

But insofar it could be part of a game or something. You know these „hide and seek in the internet, although we’re a couple in reality“ games, don’t ya ? Besides, there’s no real advantage in getting an SMS from twitter instead getting it from your mobile, is there? You see, many questions arise from this information although there’s no need for us to know more about it.

So, here’s a little bit critical thinking: Are we some kind of rude in having a look into that private sphere? Well, that really could be, but anyhow bouvierm doesn’t seem to act that much on decency himself…

… and is so busy we don’t think he cares that much:

The feedback

The tweet of this week is the following:

This one really made me laugh. In english it’s „Swallow. Getting feedback in a minute.“ Well, maybe it’s just me having too much sexual motivated thoughts due to reading too much horrible stuff on twitter.

The real story must be something like Fräulein Schnute is shocked, because she gets feedback soon to something she doesn’t tell us. Maybe something connected to her job. But how can we possibly get just that one picture, just that one story?

There’s a different story within this tweet that came up in my mind first. I don’t wanna paint the whole picture to you. I’m sure you can do that on your own and in more fascinating colours than anything I could write by now.

This combined with the information someone beeing the more active part within this story should get a *feedback* in a minute – really shocked me.

Link: Have a look at Fräulein Schnute’s beautiful website to find out more about her.

August 2017
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