Gute Nacht, Freunde! https://t.co/wtpCZoHLQi

The arousement

I thought I had reached a boarder during the last weeks. Do you remember Mr bouvierm? I thought that game thing was over. Do you remember Ellen? I thought that showing yourself thing was over.

I am so stupid.

There seems to be something in these things I still haven’t gotten into. There’s still the tension of combining these things. Let’s have another try to understand it.

This is CelticFrog. I don’t know what a celtic frog is, do you? Also I don’t wanna pretend after having googled all that can be found, that this concept belongs to my knowledge. It just doesn’t. And I don’t miss it. Maybe she has a like for the celtic culture. Maybe she thinks she looks like a frog. Maybe celtic frogs are special animals taken from a star trek episode we all haven’t seen.

Anyway, CelticFrog obviously has a friend. And she misses him from time to time. And if you still got Mr. bouvierm in your mind or Ms. Ellen, you could already guess what’s coming up:

At first glance I thought this was the seemingly new usage of „to masturbate“, introduced by Google:

But no, apparently CelticFrog is planning some kind of erotic game for the night, which does not fit into her boyfriend’s plans. Somehow.

No, I don’t want to go down that road telling you that her guy is trying to avoid to take part in her games.

He’ll definetly know she’s playing that kind of games in the internet as well.

The emo boarding

Within the last tweet we found out something more about the world of manhood and its challanges. That topic brought us to the question: What’s the greatest challenge of womanhood nowadays?

Wondergirl has an answer to that question:


In english: We decided in chick talk that we all want to fuck an emo one day.
These girls refer to the actual definition of „emo“ as given in wictionary: „A young person who is considered to be over-emotional or stereotypically emo“. I used to picture it this way:

In the old days it was a challange for women to „walk like an egyptian“ and other types of adapting different roles. These days are clearly over.
But how come fucking an emo is one of the most interesting challanges a woman can experience these days? Are there more of these decisions done in chick talk we should better be informed about? Do they expect the emo to cry? Do they wanna have someone inside their bed being more stlyed then they are?

Or do I miss the essential point of fucking emo’s?

The brave

Today Mike Ray gives us a specific look into the male world of complaints:

So, frequently Mike gets shots into his ass. It does not seem to be that much of importance who’s shooting at him or what it is, that is shot into his ass. For him the experience of being shot into his ass is the thing he wants to share via twitter.
As you can read he’s being shot into his ass more than once, but seemingly the last time was quite a while ago. In the meantime he almost forgot that kind of suffering. What he did not forget in that time was the suffering from being kicked into his balls. Maybe that happened more often. This experience is so present in his mind that he thinks he can compare it to being shot into the ass quite easily so that the reader will understand him.
What whithin both experiences really disturbs him is not the pain, but the „extreme discomfort“. So as it is not the physical pain that disturbs you after being kicked into your balls, it has to be a psychic one. It could be a feeling of weakness. The feeling to be knocked out. The feeling not being ready to fight back immediately. The feeling of not being a man.

Apparently the boldness of getting shot in the ass or being kicked into your balls is the last resort of manhood nowadays. At least for Mike. Women somehow don’t do that or can’t do that. But the residence in that resort lasts only seconds and quite quickly men are expelled out of paradise. What a sad story.

Hopefully you have a few other hobbies, Mike.

The lady's juice

This week’s tweet is in a way really a classical one. Twitter used to start with the motivating question „What are you doing?“. After a while the users changed their habit in answering this question into answering the question „What are you thinking?“. Well that question isn’t far away from the former. Before you start doing something you usually think.

The question that comes next to be answered seems to be: „What is going on with your body at this very moment?“. A woman called Ellen tells us in answer to that question:

This is in english something like „My fingers smell of the juice of my pussy: Sweet, sourly, spicy, delicous.“ And it seems to be in a way part of a movement in germany . On top of their national book list is a book with almost the same topic and also this kind of juice seems to be a new form of present in germany.

The resentments of the common twitter readers concerning these kind of tweets are something like: We’re not interested in these fluids or what anyone does with them. We don’t expect anyone on twitter to tell us something about their illustrated thoughts about them.

The special thing about Ellen in comparison to others writing about sexual acts is that she does not try to sell sex through twitter. She might want to provoke others and find satisfaction in doing so. Well, we don’t feel provoked. We actually do think she touches a border between privacy and publicity. And she does it that way that there’s nothing sexual left we want to find out about her.

That’s not bad in tactics.

The lady’s juice

This week’s tweet is in a way really a classical one. Twitter used to start with the motivating question „What are you doing?“. After a while the users changed their habit in answering this question into answering the question „What are you thinking?“. Well that question isn’t far away from the former. Before you start doing something you usually think.

The question that comes next to be answered seems to be: „What is going on with your body at this very moment?“. A woman called Ellen tells us in answer to that question:

This is in english something like „My fingers smell of the juice of my pussy: Sweet, sourly, spicy, delicous.“ And it seems to be in a way part of a movement in germany . On top of their national book list is a book with almost the same topic and also this kind of juice seems to be a new form of present in germany.

The resentments of the common twitter readers concerning these kind of tweets are something like: We’re not interested in these fluids or what anyone does with them. We don’t expect anyone on twitter to tell us something about their illustrated thoughts about them.

The special thing about Ellen in comparison to others writing about sexual acts is that she does not try to sell sex through twitter. She might want to provoke others and find satisfaction in doing so. Well, we don’t feel provoked. We actually do think she touches a border between privacy and publicity. And she does it that way that there’s nothing sexual left we want to find out about her.

That’s not bad in tactics.

The top chemical 500

There are not only pure personal matters that appear as too informative on twitter but also sort of impersonal.

This comes up as magazines or organisations do think they have to appear on twitter. I do not know anyone who ever had a plausible theory on the topic that organisations have to go to twitter. But you do find magazines and organizations there.

One of them is the german „Friedrich-Schiller-Universität“ in Jena. Maybe it’s just a student having fun. Maybe it’s someone working for the university leadership. Maybe some geek. Who knows.

One of their tweets is this one:

In english: „The university of Jena“ is now within the top 500 list of the world’s most cited academics in chemistry. Great. Congratulations.

Well I doubt that in a way. Is there a list of acadamics in chemistry sorted by their university? That would surprize me. Maybe there’s one acadamic that got onto the top list of chemistrists. And what if you can get on such a list because of making a big mistake?

But how come someone thinks this is a useful information as a tweet. ‚Tweet‘ seen as something that’s basically meant for the moment. Something that is difficult to be clearly articulated. And that often doesn’t reach the ones it’s supposed to be for.

Who’s the recipient of this tweet in the eyes of ‚jenapolis‘? Academics of their own university? Of other universities? Students to come? I don’t think there exists anyone like that in twitter. I keep my mouth shut as the first twitter user admits he’s due to that kind of tweets interested in Jena by now. Or Chemistry. Or Top 500 lists.

So to me this tweet is very useless concerning information and addressing.

The masturbation smiley

This week’s tweet is one you could have suspected as that kind of type this project would have started with. Talking about information that is just too much on twitter is mostly information about sexual habits.
This is one of them and one that is quite compromised:

The simplicity of the message turns out to rise a lot of questions:

Does Tony really do that what he claims to do or is he just kidding? Is that an information he really wants to share with others? What kind of profit would someone else have with this information? Is there no one within Tony’s world that feels uncomfortable with his?

Tony doesn’t seem to bother about those questions. He even seems to be a rather relaxing guy having the time to post a tweet while coming into action. But why is he adding a smiley to his post? Does he think: Well, you hadn’t expect I would really write this, he? Is he thinking adding a smiley makes an action cool? Is the same content better without a reference to smiling (besides on the avatar) ?

Well, think about that. Or rather don’t :).

The nothing

Ladies and Gents, this week’s tweet is THE tweet.

It’s the ultimate tweet.

It contains basics any twitter user uses. And it’s more. It’s art.
What kind of art it is, is what we need to find out.

So here’s what the tweet of the week is all about. Doomshammer says? Writes? Shows? This:

This is more than just a tweet. This is more than just playing a tiny technical game. This is a theoretical and practical expression of the nothing:

On the one hand you don’t find a single viewable sign to identify.
On the other hand and as a result of the former you don’t find any abstract information within this tweet apart from the author’s name, the software he uses, the star and the time the tweet was made. If you want to talk about this tweet you are urged to refer to nothingness.

It was Martin Heidegger claiming the nothing noths („Das Nichts nichtet.“). You can object against Heidegger that his hardly understandable usage of turning nouns into verbs is not a possible way to identify truth. But this objection could fail due to just revealing yourself as being pigheaded. The mistake of defining how to identify truth could lie in your own assumptions. But without trying to glorify Heidegger we have to state that Doomshammer shows there’s still something after the nothing has left.

Leave is defined by Heidegger with the following:

This is in english: „Leave is the absented arrival of the hiding of keeping the progress in the beginning.“ So Doomshammers‘ expression is both the absence of any tweet content and the beginning of any tweet.

So do not let Doomshammer fool you by linking to his own tweet as a tweet of emptiness:

You might still want to say, we’re missing the point. We’re over-interpreting the whole tweet. We don’t have any interesting TMIs left and are urged to lift this up to one. Doomshammer’s just a nerd having fun with his iPhone.

So if that would be right our text would be TMI. If not we would have proven the incredible kind of art of this tweet.

We actually think we can prove our thesis.

We can’t do this theoretically but within practise, within one of the artist’s tweet. Take a look at what Doomshammer threw like an unsatisfying painting into the trash bin just a second before revealing his masterpiece:

The clever doggie

If people on twitter don’t talk about themselves or their problems, they talk about news, tv, films, other people or animals. If they talk about animals, quite often they talk about their pets. And if they talk about pets then they talk about things they did wrong. You can hardly ever read a description of a really rightful done action of a pet. Or maybe that’s just my perception. It just seems not to be too interesting to talk about that.

If twitter users do not talk about their pets, but about animals, it’s about animals in their environment not belonging to them. Brittt is one of them. It does not slip her attention what and how animals act that are near to her. So she writes:

The first thing I thought is something, I suppose none of you thought. I thought: What a clever doggie. He comes into the room, recognizes that the window is open, jumps upon the windowsill and does his business outside for not soiling the room. Good boy!

Too sad a second later I thought that wasn’t Brittt’s story. She in a way wanted to tell that a dog was shitting outside her house and that she could watch him doing his business. And the open window seems to be a link to me that she even smelled that happening through her open window.

I don’t wanna care. I think my story is much more compelling.

The schemer

This week’s tweet is not much about fun. It’s in a way just a statement. IKEA paid a guy to stay in a room where he’s being filmed all day. This was posted in quiet a few blogs already. And as Nils now turns out to be one of the top german twitter users regarding counted followers we had a short look at him.

You know, in the old days action artists did something special. Sometimes that was disturbing. And that kind of disturbance was the essence of their art.
The art of this guy is just to sit and wait. But not in the Sidney Youngblood manner. He’s just waiting in a room for the new IKEA catalogue coming out in September and that’s all he does in August. And as the time runs out in August he tells us:

In the moment when he could really do something special, a thing he could have prepared himself for the last couple of weeks, he is not able to present it in a way that does not leave everyone bored behind: „I hope the postman brings the new IKEA catalouge. I’m really looking forward for trying out my new life.“

Boy, IKEA stuff is not for life. It’s for not spending much money. If that is a topper of your old life and the starting point of your new, we’ve really got no clue how simple you are.

If this project was just a little bit more intelligent maybe you could see some irony in it. For sure there are some guys in twitter, that sit before their computer the whole day. Seen that way this project could be a mirror to them. But how numb is it to say the solution to that problem was shopping?

This whole thing is an old idea with no new elements and it deals only with minimalism. A minimalism that is supposed to be special due to not fulfilling expectations. Dear IKEA and Nils: We had none. And that’s going to be the essential thing connected to you.

August 2017
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